Today I start another course on the blog-o-sphere. Writing 101. The assignment is Unlock the MInd. 20 minutes of just writing away. And publish said writing. So here it goes.
Today is my 49th Birthday. It seems as though this year, mentally, will actually be harder than the big 5-0. I am at a crossroads. Feeling that I’m heading into the second half of my life and making the changes that I feel will make that half what I want it to be. Now, my Mother will say I’ve always done what it was that I wanted. The part she never saw was the decision making behind those decisions. Like staying in places I really didn’t like to allow others what they needed. Mom thinks I moved to Cape May, NJ and opened a store because I wanted all that. I moved to Cape May to make someone else happy, opened the store to keep me busy doing something I liked in a place I did not. I joined the Army Reserves when I was 17, to prove I could do something everyone thought I could not. It is probably one of two of the biggest accomplishments in my life that I am most proud of. The second is my current job. I’ve busted my hump for 7+ years at a company I believed in and in an industry that was just plain fun in which to work. I did I job I was really good at and helped grow a business doing what I do best.
Now, it’s time to work on the third thing I wish to be most proud of. I would like to look back on my life and have these three big things and be content. I’ve always imagined being a writer. Professionally. Not sure why. I’ve just done so much better at expressing myself with written word as opposed to spoken. So, off on that trek I will go. I’ve also always wanted to live in Colorado. So at 50, next year, I will be knee deep in building up paid writing assignments, so that when the time comes to head to Colorado, I’m ready. So this year, I will be finishing up at my job, working on writing courses, and setting the stage for next year. Hence, the reason this year, of 49, will be harder than 50. I’m doing twice as much work, to get to a place of ease. And I know I can do it.
I always use Birthdays as measurements. And I don’t like it. Usually don’t like them because of it. So again, this year I will work towards making that 50th Birthday a reason to celebrate, not dread. No more yard sticks. Time to live what I love and love what I live, right?
I share this Birthday with my partner’s youngest son. He turns 16 today. He said last night it was really no big deal. He thinks 18 will be his first big deal. He said that at 13 too, by the way. He’s a really good kid and it’s almost eerie how much alike we are, even though we are not blood related. We keep our clothes the same, we like/dislike a lot of the same types of foods, we even like the same kinds of movies, have the same study habits, and he likes to write…in the theoretical kind of way.
Life is good, as long as we keep on trying, don’t let failures cripple us, and look to the future, while acknowledging the present and past are right where they need to be.